I did make a switch to Tumblr. So go check it out. I also started a company. We're growing. Go check us out. 

My mood isn't reflective of my life. The smiles and laughs are just a distraction from the hate and sorrows I face daily. Really, there are problems. Money ones, relational ones, ethical ones, spiritual ones. 

My finances are about to be hecka-tight, what with my new responsibility to pay the majority of my bills and expenses. Good times. Some friends aren't really friends at all. But I've already blogged about that before. I struggle with the difference between my own principles and those others by which God demands me to live. And God, well he has to suffer. Because I suck.

While this may seem contradictory, my life really is good. Cool people and great opportunities surround me. The most valuable thing I'm learning in school is how to embrace ambition. It is a sun, and fine-tuned skills are a microscope, focusing on one item after another, until they burn. Conquering all things. This has been my college experience. Not the party-hearty Freshmen dorm experience, nor the drinking games 'till late on Friday nights, or any other typical, traditional mess that people dare call the best years of their lives. 

The highest compliment I've ever given a rapper is that they're clever. Hip-hop artists will never grace the presence of my favorite peeps list, and they'll especially not make the cut as one of my role models. I just listen to their flows and nod my head. Some Christians say they like rap for the bump. They claim this to excuse inappropriate behavior as they sing along and fist-pump fake hand guns. But I'll just admit it: rap makes me feel tough. Sometimes all I want to do is reign terror and justice on my foes, treat women like objects, and swim in the money (come find me, Nemo). That wouldn't be such a terrible life. After all, selfishness has its benefits.

But then there's God. My rock. Or at least I like to call Him that. When I'm not busy pleasing myself I try to fit Him into the loop. Include Him during decision-making processes. Him. Him.

I recently blogged how I want this summer to play out. Scratch it. I can't just romanticize the things I already do. Check my Blackberry. Exercise. It's all a load of bull. I just need to get my priorities straight. Just. As if that's easy.

-Ryan

Go check out "The Kids" by B.O.B here.

I'm moving into a house in a few weeks, and to help keep my excitement at bay I think I'll start packing today. We're going to have several parties within the first month, so be prepared to come visit the ghetto. My new address? 85 Hutchinson St, Atlanta.

Starving myself is kind of fun. 

-Ryan